Jackass

Music in my head: Fresh Maggots- Rosemary Hill
Today's weather: Drowsy

People talk out circumstances bringing animals that exist deep within each twisted psyche out into the open. Most times, this animal is a jackass.

Circumstance: A death metal God has been growling away for two hours, while shredding his guitar to pieces, and four other Demi-Gods have been doing their respective bits to keep the delicate balance of nature. Thousands of zealots have been writhing away as if an omnipotent TV evangelist was bringing a chicken back to life in each of their heads. And now everyone is taking a break.

And as the age-old saying goes, if a death metal God has been growling away for two hours, while shredding his guitar to pieces, four other Demi-Gods have been doing their respective bits to keep the delicate balance of nature, thousands of zealots have been writhing away as if an omnipotent TV evangelist was bringing a chicken back to life in each of their heads, and now everyone is taking a break, it brings out the jackass in Mr. Nokia.

Mr. Nokia: You want more of Opeth?
Crowd: Yeah!
Mr. Nokia: Then repeat after me: Touch Opeth, Play Opeth, Share Opeth!
Crowd: ??
Mr. Nokia: Come on! Say it after me: Touch Opeth...
Crowd: **** you!
Mr. Nokia: Play Opeth...
Crowd: **** you!
Mr. Nokia: Share Opeth!
Crowd: **** you!
Mr. Nokia: Thank you all! Now I have one more thing to say...

Circumstance: Mr. Nokia has one more thing to say, and there is, somehow, a brief silence in the crowd.

Now, as the age old saying goes, if Mr. Nokia has one more thing to say, and there is, somehow, a brief silence in the crowd, it brings out the jackass in the fat guy with specs, let's call him Sensei.

Sensei: I'm Gay!
Crowd: ??
Sensei: Umm... I meant it for Mr. Nokia...
Crowd: ??
Sensei: ??
Crowd immediately surrounding Sensei: **** you.

I meant no offense to the gay community here. In India people are still just walking out of their double padlocked closets.

So summing up, if a death metal God has been growling away for two hours, while shredding his guitar to pieces, four other Demi-Gods have been doing their respective bits to keep the delicate balance of nature, thousands of zealots have been writhing away as if an omnipotent TV evangelist was bringing a chicken back to life in each of their heads, and now everyone is taking a break, it brings out the jackass in Mr. Nokia, and if Mr. Nokia has one more thing to say, and there is, somehow, a brief silence in the crowd, the jackass in the fat guy with specs walks out of a double padlocked closet.

While(1>0)

Music in my head: Porcupine Tree- Even Less
Today's weather: Sticky

Sometimes it feels like I'm walking into the same trap over and over and over again. If we were, indeed, in the matrix, I'd be in the middle of a colossal glitch.
Today's Smith was Bear-Man, first words that popped into my mind when I saw him.

Me: How much do I pay for a grade card?
Bear-Man:
Me: What's that again?
Bear-Man: Sissty
Me: Sixty?
Bear-Man: Sissty Paa!

Bear-Man had made his point. I plodded two kilometers to the bank, filled up a form, paid, and returned with a counterfoil that enables the dumass to retrieve what I had paid at the bank. Brief flashback, about a year back in time:

Me: How much do I pay for a grade card?
Shaved Bear-Man:
Me: What's that again?
Shaved Bear-Man: Yaighty
Me: Eighty?
Shaved Bear-Man: Yaighty Paa!
At this point I open my wallet to take out the eighty rupees for the grade card, when
Shaved Bear-Man: You cannaat pay me. You pay challan bank, I take counterfaail. Write also request letter pa!

Bear-Man had made his point. I plodded two kilometers to the bank, filled up a form, paid, and returned with a counterfoil that enables the dumass to retrieve what I had paid at the bank.

Present day:
I return with the counterfoil, he catches a glimpse of it when

Bear-Man: Write also request letter paa!

I scribble something on a piece of paper and give it to him. He takes one look and

Bear-Man: Who told you sissty paa? It is yaighty!
Me: No! I asked you! You told me it was sixty!
Bear-Man: Don't lie paa! Everyone knows it is yaighty! Go get it the twenty rupee challan more and come paa!

Bear-Man had made his point. I plodded two kilometers to the bank, filled up a form, paid, and returned with a counterfoil that enables the dumass to retrieve what I had paid at the bank...