Inception Inspection : Nolan's dirty secret

Music in my head: Balmorhea - Settler
Today's weather: Barsaat.

This post is to set the record straight with the entire world (its not another 1 Night in Paris, as the title may suggest to some of you pervs). It is to claim the recognition that we truly deserve. You talk about the awesomeness of Inception, and I agree with that. But when you heap praises on Chris Nolan for the concept, you automatically incur the collective wrath of the makers of revolutionary (short) movie 'Voyage35'.

The brains behind the film, a couple of my friends and me, had a series of discussions- ranging from spiritual to gastronomic - on all matters related to dreams, especially exploring lucid dreaming and astral projection. And we actually downloaded this pdf, which gives you pointers on how to induce lucid dreaming. We worked on those pointers for a while, and one fateful day, locked ourselves in a room, ate a modified Haldiram's Bhel Puri (our sedative. Eat your hat, Yusuf), and fell asleep to Riceboy Sleeps by Jonsi and Alex, the most sleep-inducing album we could find. And then, we shared a dream, the likes of which would've turned Martin Luther King pink. Our kick was the 2 pm power-cut. No elaborate 'kick'ing mechanism involved (that's the difference between the movies and real life, isn't it?).

Although we don't remember what the dream was (except that it involved induction motors, Tricia Helfer and Bovonto), what's important here, is that we shared a dream before even before Cobb was in his frigging limbo, claiming to have built the city (who's he trying to fool, by the way? You're stuck in a dream for eternity with your wife, who is called 'Mal' for God's sake, and you expect us to believe that you're building a city with her). I could point out a hundred other loopholes in the plot, but who has the time?

I realise, at this point, most of you will have, in your heart of hearts, developed such a feeling of ill-will towards Nolan, that if Facebook pages had 'dislike' buttons, you would've clicked the hell out of it through your own account and ten other proxy accounts. But we are classy people. We urge you to desist. Come on, give the man credit for directing the movie. He's carried the idea satisfactorily enough. We admit that although we came up with the concept, if you watch our movie and then watch Inception, you'll notice that Inception has better camera angles at certain times, and better sets. That's the big bucks doing their work.

Now, a plea to Mr. Nolan. We won't go all Chetan Bhagat on you and demand that you give us all your money and put our names on the credits. We want only some of your money, a million each for the three of us would be nice. A small mention somewhere in the credits wouldn't hurt either, but you could replace the honourable mention with half a mil. No one reads the credits anyway. We know that you, like us, are a classy guy, and will do the right thing. Just comment on this post and we'll tell you how to send us the money. You should know that the money would go into paying for my Masters' Degree, and buying books. After all, education is the most important thing in the world (next to 'building cities', that is).


P.S: Inception was brilliant beyond words. I'm watching it again today.
P.P.S: The next post will deal with how the Wachowski brothers stole our idea for the original Matrix movie, and then wrote the sequels themselves.


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