July 06, 2009

The Real Louvre Top Ten (PG Advised)

Music in my head: Estatic Fear - Chapter I
Today's weather: Mildly acidic rain.

When you hear Louvre, you think Mona Lisa, La Jaconde, as she is known here. But to a brutally logical and analytical engineering mind, she is unimpressive.
What made the whole three mile walk worthwhile was the abundance of perverted, and in some cases, outright sick paintings and sculptures. Go Old Masters! Here's my pick, the top ten in descending order.

Ten:A still from the 15th century slasher movie- Mummy's head IV.

Nine:

One for the feminists. The world's first six pack abs belonged to a woman.

Eight:Artifact from the collection room of a pre-christian sperm bank.

Seven:
Sunny Leone and entourage, back in the day.

Six:
The world's first orgy. Men, women, horses. Guy on the bed is probably thinking- "Why the hell didn't I think of this before?".

Five:
16th Century X-Rated spoof of 'Three Hundred'- 'Three hundred little Spartans'. Notice Leonidus in the centre grabbing attention with an erotic yogic stance.

Four:
One of the heads from 17th Century Futurama- known then as 'Futugabriel', as uttering the name of pagan gods was heresy.

Three:
Still from the prequel to "Meet your Meat"- the bovine messiah.

Two:
The first advertisement for milk- "Cobra bhi peeta hai".

And the winner is:
They pretty much speak for themselves.

So the next time you go to the Louvre, forget La Jaconde. And wear loose fitting pants.

4 comments:

/urgu said...

Haha! lol...So the Mona Lisa is really that small. Hm..

Krishna Chandran said...

even smaller when you look at her through a throng of japanese tourists with cameras as big as their heads....

Hari said...

The pics speak a lot about you... :P

Thanks for showing me the Louvre! :D Awesome. :)

Krishna Chandran said...

indeed they do:)...
and you're welcome, although you haven't seen the louvre until you have about a million different footsores and are reeling from the exhaustion of walking almost three miles in four hours.. :) we are the tourists... goo goo goo joob :)