Son of a Beach

Music in my head: Rush- YYZ
Today's weather: A real bitch.

Don't ever get your hopes up about a beach party. Especially if a Frenchman tells you that in broken English. Because
1. Frenchmen think that 'at the beach' and 'near the beach' are interchangeable phrases.
2. Frenchmen wear black ties to said beach parties.
3. Frenchmen love seafood and serve almost nothing but seafood.
4. Frenchmen talk only in French, leaving you feeling like you are the novelty fish on the wall.
5. Frenchmen hang novelty fish on their walls.
6. The above applies to Frenchwomen too.
7. You cannot converse with the other novelty fish, including the ones on the wall.

The only positive feeling that a novelty fish can have during the whole rotten experience is one of profound thankfulness. Profound thankfulness for French fries and for the fact that he did not turn up in boxers and flip flops like he had originally planned to.
Beach party, my novelty a**.